Teenage discos in the 2000s were, and probably still are, a strange specimen. A mixture of hormones, sweat, and terrible attempts at facial hair brought a subculture all of their own with them.
Central to that subculture was shit dance music. The sort of dance music was so shit that it was unbelievably good. Here’s a little trip down memory lane.
Scooter – The Logical Song
Yes, we were ready. Too ready! The man defined an era. What was he on about? Who knows? But when Scooter came on, a disco’s collective shit was lost.
DJ Sammy – Heaven
The mid-2000s were filled with dance remixes of old, homely songs. Eric Clapton’s Heaven did not escape this butchering, with DJ Sammy proving on more than occasion that he/she was the king/queen of teenage discos.
Special D – Come with Me
Special D was destined to be global superstars with a video featuring snakes, nurses, and lads on skateboards. I still have no bloody clue what’s going on but let’s not get distracted by sense.
Cascada – Every time We Touch
Cascada defined the 2000s as a teenage disco. I could have picked any of her 204 songs, but in ‘Every time We Touch,’ I think we remember the pièce de résistance.
Guru Josh Project – Infinity
A do do do do do do do do do WOO! A do do do do do do do WOO!
The Underdog Project – Summer Jam
Summer Jam first came to prominence way back in 2003 but enjoyed an extended stay of relevance for nearly all 2000s. If this post is a gallery of impeccable works of art, then Summer Jam may be the Mona Lisa.
Ultrabeat – Pretty Green Eyes
Did you know that people with pretty green eyes never have to be alone? Neither do I. By listening to Ultrabeat, we were having a good time AND learning.
Ian van Dahl – Castles in the Sky
Another song from the turn of the millennium had remarkable staying power. If anyone truly is building a castle in the sky, I do not doubt that Ian van Dahl will be their first guest.
Basshunter – Now You’re Gone
This was pretty much played on loop on every tv music channel at the time. God, everyone was having so much fun, changing clothes, bopping along in cars, and sending texts. And in the middle of all that? A love story for the ages.
Alex Gaudino feat. Crystal Waters – Destination Calabria
This was more a late 2000s entry—a bizarre video but a tune that was huge nonetheless.
Darude – Sandstorm
Darude’s version of Sandstorm has been around since God was a boy, but that still didn’t stop it from being a massive hit at teenage discos back in the early noughties.
There were no words because who needs words when your head is about to fall off from going bloody nuts on the dancefloor?
Klubbhoppers – Buddy Joe
Did you think we had forgotten it? Of course not! We saved the biggest tune for last. Buddy Joe – or Bobby Joe as most know it – was undoubtedly the biggest teenage disco tune in Ireland at the time. Why? Who knows, but I can guarantee it will be stuck in your head all day now.