The relationship status these days is complicated. In the old days, it used to single, dating, married, or divorced. Time has changed those four words can’t encompass all the other complex relationships people found themselves in.
New and improved vocabulary is needed to explain the status quo.
The girl goes out shopping out with you. She calls you, takes to all different stores, asks you to suggest how she looks, pays the bills, and then you both go separate ways.
This is where she feels the safest. She thinks of you as her brother. No questions asked.
You think for an hour to write the sweetest message for her. However, she sees the message and never replies back.
You use your phone or other electronic devices to talk with her boyfriend.
You listen to her whining, her complications, and her life stories. But you won’t have a chance to speak your mind. It is truly a one-way conversation. You are there only to listen, not to talk.
She treats you as a guinea pig. She applies all the advice she could think of to you. The only thing you can do is agree with her. You can’t have your say. It is like primary school all over again.
She thinks of you as your sports mate. She plays with you and after the game, you go your way, she goes hers.
You go to movies together. You share the same popcorn. But right after the movie, you go separate ways.
You are friends with her first cousins, second cousins and god knows who else from her family tree. The other reason being they are related to her.
She had a crush on you. That infatuation will never transform into love.
Honorable Mention: Friendzoned
The list would not have been completed without the honorable mention of Friendzoned. It is what all started the complex relationship status quo. You loved a girl, she befriends you forever. You are stuck in the zone. With the terminology of the friend zone, this list would be non-existential.